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Ephram Fomp and His Big Time Sandals

by Vir McCoy

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There once was a boy That lived far away who had very large feet that would get in his way He found some magic sandals "whose could they be" They strapped in his feet and took him on a journey Ephram Fomp! and his bigtime Sandals...
TOE ONE One fine day as Ephram Fomp was out digging for Noopas in his yard (Oh he did have a taste for Noopas), he heard a strange sound coming from a nearby Hoofty bush. Ephram’s ears perked up and he went to investigate, but just then his mother called him in for dinner. “Ephram, come get your nardles!” Eprham scurried into the house for dinner and sat down at the big wooden table. His father waddled in with a sour wince. “Ephram, where’s your shoes? Your feet are a mess.” Ephram glanced down at his feet. “But pop, ain’t no shoes fit me!” “That aint no excuse, you wear em anyway even if your toes poke out. Listen, I want you to stay around the house; rumors flyin’ around that Sasquatch been in these parts.” Ephram’s eyes popped wide open. “You mean Bigfoot?” Just then a Zook fly landed on Ephram’s big toe, without even thinking the other big toe of the other foot reached over to swat it away. That night as Ephram lay in bed, the moon peeked in the window and shone light upon Ephram’s big big feet - size 21 to be exact. “Aint no shoes ever gonna fit,” thought Ephram. “Oh well shoes n' feet is dumb anyway.” Ephram smiled and let out a big burp from his dinner. “Ha hee!” That night Ephram had a terrible dream, he dreamt his feet were pulsing and growing bigger and bigger so much so he could'nt move anymore. His feet had had turned into giant logs. The next day as Ephram was out playing, he remembered the Hoofty bush. “Lets take a look,” Ephram said out loud. His big time feet swished and flopped on the ground as he walked. “Oh My,” Ephram exclaimed, for under the Hoofty bush was the biggest pair of sandals he had ever seen. “Oh my! Whose could these be?” They looked very worn in and were made of tan leather with big straps held together by large metal hoops. Shiny gemstones of all kinds were stiched in the straps and sole of the sandals. Ephram looked around, saw nothing and heard only the sound of the wind. “Might as well try them on,” he said. And they fit almost perfectly. “ Ha hee mu muk muk muk !” Suddenly Ephram felt very, very strange. It felt like the sandals were moving. They were! They wiggled Ephram’s feet and the straps on the sandals began to tighten down. And the gemstones seemed to be glowing. “Hey, hey! What’s a happenin?” Ephram hollered. . He reached down to unbuckle the sandals but they wouldn’t budge. Ephram just couldn’t control where his feet were going. The sandals made his feet walk forward, in a direction he didn’t really want to go: away from his home and into the forest of the big, dark, Two-Tongued-Trees. “Hey, Hey! Hey!” Ephram cried. “ I gots to get home. Pa’ll be redder’n a skinned rabbit! Lemme go!” But the sandals kept taking him forward deeper and deeper into the woods. The hairs on his toes stood on end as his big time feet swished and flopped on the mossy forest floor. “Where a-takin’ me?” After a time Ephram stopped struggling and let the sandals take him. At least they seemed to know where they were going. “Oh, Pa’s gonna be so mad,” he moaned. “Big dumb feet can’t do nothin’ right.” The hilltops grew with a rosy light as the shadows deepened in the forest. The stones on the sandals lit the way through the woods. The smells began to change to a scent of old ancient stuff like the way gramma’s house smelled. The Two-Tongued-Trees were bigger than Ephram ever remembered. Seeping butterworts and semi-ovate squashes hung from the trees, swaying lightly in the mysterious breeze. “Oh my,” Ephram sighed.
TOE TWO By and by, and after awhile of miles of walking, Ephram began to hear a strange sound. From deep in the woods came a gurgling, “HA HA HA HAGH HAGHH. Ha aha gng agn.” It was a Vomus-worm laughing near the thicket of smile. “HA HHA HA HA HA HAGHH HAGGHH HA.” It seemed to be covered in a mucus-like slime, had many pink sections and was slightly larger than Ephram. It sat in a giant compost pile. “Oh please sir-worm don’t do me no harm.” Ephram said. The worm coughed up a spot of fresh soil and said, well he didn’t actually say it with his mouth, it was more like pictures appeared in Ephram’s head. The worm seemed to be speaking to him in vibrations. No sounds but yet there were sounds, no words but these are words. It was like a vibratory story. Ephram listened in his head – and his body- yes, his body was listening- to what the Vomus-worm said. There were pictures of dirt tunnels and leaves turning to soil, rotting bark, a dead chicken, old bananas…what? This was a confusing mess. More story coming – other worms, compost piles, more dirt, hard dirt turning to soft dirt, no shirts, happy worms, full bellies, more mucus, more dirt, burping worms, working worms… Ephram began to calm down a bit. This worm seemed to be showing him what a worm’s life was like. “O.K,” Ephram said. “What’s all this about.” The worm paused and then spoke out loud from one of the segments. “Ignnn have something important to tell youggh! Worms like to dig into the soil and break it down. They like to break it down and turn it into ground so that the Two-Tongued-Trees have fresh food and minerals to grow. Worms like to break it down. My message to you is break it down! If you ever have a frown on your face, if you ever seem to be stuck in some waste, break it down, break it down! Get down on the ground and do the wild boar boogie! Wiggle around! Your body is made from the ground. Build an earth mound. Make worm sounds. Kiss the dirt! Eat some dirt! It won’t hurt! AHHGG AHHHH HHAgggGGGG.HAHAHAHA!! Break it down.” Ephram understood. The tips of his big time toes began burrowing into the soil and wiggling around. And Ephram did a little dirt dance (it was a bit like he had seen Uncle Pookus Fomp do after the harvest). Ephram had never danced in his life. “AHHH AHHHGG HA AHAHA HAHA!” The worm laughed in-between coughing up spots of soil. “Break it down….” And with that, Ephram’s sandals took him off quicker than a rabbit. “Ha hee Mu Muk Muk Muk,” He laughed. Behind him the worm just gurgled, “Agggnaaaahhhhaa…”
Toeda 04:19


This is the Epic Children's Odessy Ephram Fomp And His BigTime Sandals presented here in Audio Form for children age 3-7. For the full CD of Audio and book information email me at virmccoy@yahoo.com

The book opens deep in the heart of the Pacific Northwest where 11 year old Ephram Fomp “Ain’t got no shoes that fit...” as he has size 21 feet. His father is constantly pressing Ephram to get some shoes and Ephram does not like his “big dumb feet.” Soon Ephram discovers a pair of magical sandals that fit him perfectly, but the sandals strap his feet in and take him on an amazing adventure into the forest of the Two-Tongued Trees. Unbeknownst to Ephram the owner of the sandals happens to be Bigfoot and he is following Ephram’s footprints. Along the path Ephram learns from amazing characters including the Vomus worm, The Man Who Plays the Blues in Z Minor, The Space Voice, the Nixies, The Breathers and Movers and Grandmother Mosswort.
Ephram learns invaluable lessons on healing, his self image, and insight into the world around him. The story has a whimsical quality with spiritual and ecological wisdom woven throughout. Where are these sandals taking Ephram and why? How can he move them himself? Who is following him? Will he ever get home? What does the Space Voice mean when it says “Listen to the real you, the you inside of you that wants to break through?”


released February 15, 2009

Vir McCoy, Words and Music, David Jenkins Illustrations and Music, Patrick Lake animation


Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.



Vir McCoy

Vir McCoy has created music in many different genres including World Fusion, Rock, Electronica, Childrens, New Age Comedy, Soundtracks and Devotional Music. He has played and recorded on many albums such as groups like the Mickey Hart Band and Beats Antique. Vir co-founded the group Hamsa Lila who's album reached #2 on the CMJ world music charts. Vir was born in Venice Beach, Los Angeles, Ca. ... more

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